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Conquor Self Doubt – You Are Stronger Than You Think

October 20, 2017 By Editor

This article first appeared here.

I have never liked the phrase “hit rock bottom.” It assumes someone has plunged into the darkest fathoms of life, and like an inanimate object, now rests there forever, fixed in the mud, with no hope of rising.

And so when someone says to me, “Brendon, I’ve hit rock bottom,” my first impulse is to ask, “Have you really? What does that mean to you?”

There is no doubt that when people say they have hit bottom, they mean it. The phrase is incredibly personal. But sometimes the only way through our own truth is to look outside of ourselves for perspective. Most of what the bottom feels like is still a few dozen meters above someone else’s dilemmas or tragedies. Often the bottom is just the height of our self-doubt.

We must be cautious of defining our life’s situation as “the bottom” or “the worst,” or acting as if we’re somehow forever hopeless. Once you believe you are at your worst point in life, it gets even harder to find the enduring drive it will take to swim back up. Perhaps you’re not as deep as you think, and if you stopped looking down and instead looked up, you might see some light breaking through. Maybe there’s another angle. Maybe someone has faced the very struggle you’re dealing with and survived—even thrived. Could it be you are not alone in the dark, that others would help if you reached out? Perhaps it’s true you have been sinking, but it’s also true that you still have sight of something to be thankful for, something to still grasp at in life, something deeper than your problems that says, “I still believe.”

Maybe this is optimistic. Like I said, if we feel we’re at the bottom then that’s our truth. But I simply suggest that’s not the truth that will empower you to rise above. The real truth is rarely, “I’m incapable or unlovable or doomed for the rest of my life.”

I’ve had the privilege of working with people who have faced impossible odds and terrible tragedies, the worst life could throw at them. And they still believed. Moms who lost children to cancer. Lovers who were cheated on. Entrepreneurs who risked it all and went bankrupt. Soldiers whose friends died in front of them. Good people who wanted to give up… at first.

Were these people at the bottom? Most of them didn’t think so. They refused to bucket themselves or their situation in the it’s-doomed-for-life column. They considered if they were at the bottom, and then realized they were barely midway through life. They said, “There’s always a new day. I can do something, even if today that only means taking a shower and keeping a good attitude.” They looked around and counted their blessings. They saw how others had it even worse than they did but still managed to smile, carry on and try. That stirred belief.

Never let the weight of life’s challenges sink all hope. You are stronger than you think, and the future holds good things for you.

Article Source: https://www.success.com/blog/you-are-stronger-than-you-think.

Filed Under: Life, Personal Development Tagged With: depression, optimism, Self Confidence, self doubt

How to Keep Yourself Sane When Living Alone

September 12, 2017 By Editor

According to what Paulo Coelho has written on his book, Manuscript Found in Accra, “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself. And if you do not know yourself, you will begin to fear the void.”

Living alone in another country is one of the least things you could wish for yourself. Life isn’t always about living with pure bliss; it’s also about experiencing the darkest of nights. That’s how you can maintain the equilibrium of your life. Just like the “Yin Yang” of the Chinese Philosophy, that means shady side and sunny side, respectively, in order for us to create a sane and balanced life. We always keep on talking about things like this but the question is, how?

Living alone is not a curse

It will always boil down on how will you view the situation, it’s either you’ll drown yourself with frustrations or you’ll start seeing the brighter side of life. You can cry for a while. You can even shout as loud as you can if you think that it could help you lessen the anxiousness that you’re currently experiencing. If you think that living alone is similar to imprisonment, that’s your choice. Why don’t you try changing the way you perceive things first? There’s nothing wrong in trying, right?

Give yourself a reward

When you’re working abroad and you still have a family to support in your homeland, always remember that it’s not a crime to treat yourself sometimes whenever you’ve received your paycheck. If you want to watch your homegrown movies and television series, why don’t you watch it whenever you have time? If you like having a new hairstyle, why don’t you go to the nearest salon and choose the style that suits you? Don’t spare yourself from all the good things that you deserve to have. You’re the one who worked hard for it, anyway.

Stop stressing about not being good enough

Living alone, without anyone that you can’t talk to personally, usually makes you feel lonely. Stress is something you can’t kick out of your life in just a snap. The best solution to fight it is to win against it. What’s the best way to stay calm even though you think that you’re already close to being devastated? Breathe.  Relax.  Yes, you have a report to be submitted before the day ends but it’s more difficult if you will work without a clearer mindset. A minute of distressing yourself won’t hurt.

Stay connected with your loved ones

No one can beat the power of having conversations with persons close to you. Talk to them about all the things that are bothering you. It doesn’t mean that even though you’re now residing in another place, you’ll also cut ties with them. Reconnect with them again and tell them how much you missed them. Talking with the people you love can help you feel sane. Don’t forget that those social networking sites are just a few clicks away.

Never isolate yourself

Not because you’re not with your friends anymore, you’ll forbid yourself to mingle with others. Keep in mind that it’s not a betrayal if you will make new friends. The bad thing about it is when you started ignoring them just because you’ve met people who you think are way cooler than them. Friendships will always about quality, not quantity. The most important thing is that you learned how to acquaint yourself with others so that you won’t be known as a rude person to your colleagues.

Problems are temporary

Did your employer scold you? Haven’t you passed the monthly report on time yet? Were you close to picking up a fight with your workmates? Again, take the time to breathe, to think, and to analyze everything before doing anything. This might be one of the most used phrases but, please don’t ever give up. You can rest for a while before starting the newest chapter of your life. If you feel unmotivated, think of the people who keep on believing in you whenever you think like you’re becoming a burden to society. You’ll make it. Maybe not now but eventually, you will.

If you’re in another country and you’re living alone, use that chance to be able to experience things such as giving yourself a new reason to be a better person. Every problems and situation exist because theses are needed for you to grow. Go easy on yourself now. Let go of all the loneliness and depression before it eats you alive without even knowing it.

You’ve read How to Keep Yourself Sane When Living Alone, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

Filed Under: Life Hacks, Personal Development, Relationships Tagged With: attitude, balance, depression, me time, relationships, social

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